My life before I found God was not like an average pre-teen, I grew up with a single parent (mother) and four siblings. Things didn’t come easy for us, we had no one but ourselves. I assume that’s why I always stuck to myself, rather than reaching out to others. My family has been through so much that honestly I have no clue how we are still surviving the life we have been given. One of my eldest sisters, ever so young and beautiful had to hide a dreadful secret within her for countless years; until she was able to speak out was when we discovered the truth. You see before she said anything she was suffering from depression and suicidal thoughts, until she had to be sent away for help. When she finally told us, we were devastated. She told my mother how she was molested at a young age by my sisters ex husband. I thought to myself how could God let someone do that to her, how come he didn’t stop him or why did he even let it happen to her. I had so many angry questions that I couldn’t get the answers to. We were able to give my sister justice for the crime that was held against her, she is slowly recovering from it but is able to live a positive life now. As she grew up to love the Lord, I found myself drifting away from him. I was such a hateful person, always yelling, giving the rudest attitude possible and destroying any bonds I had with family. I would tell myself that my mother had favorites, which caused me to dislike my mother and actually hate my siblings. I envied them for no reason, I would one up them at anything, I would be so mean that sometimes they would actually be scared of me. I eventually got nicknamed demon child for having such awful anger issuses. I started to issolate myself from them not allowing them to talk to me, be around me or even say I was their sister. I wanted nothing to do with my family, I hated God for giving me a poor life. Nothing ever seemed to impress me, my mom would try her hardest for us but I would end up making her feel like a failure, which she most certaintly is not. I startd to except God after my visit to a church camp, I never thought that spending five days in the woods would change me as a person and help make me into the person I am today. During my stay there I felt love, happiness, warmth, acceptance, freedom and alive. I felt what it was like to walk beside the Lord himself, it was such an incredibale sensation. I left there wanting to better myself, so I joined a christain youth group, I went to church every chance I got and I grew a bond with God. He has helped me in so many ways. First by helping me grow a bond with my family, I talk to them, hang out with them and accept them for who they are not what I thought they should be. Second by showing me how to love with my heart and see things for the beauty they hold, I was able to express myself in ways I never would of tried. Third by showing me the way to his heart, by leading me from hell itself to him, for loving me even when I mess up and for not giving up on me when I gave up on myself. If it weren’t for him I’d still be lost. I also want to thank my mom for always seeing something in me, for knowing that I was not a problemed child, like everyone thought I was. She would take me to church because she saw a change in me, she wanted what was best for me and what I needed to in order to live a holy life. Even to this day I look back to my old self and wonder why I ever let myself reach such a low point in life. I am truly happy now, I’m able to spread the word of God and show people that there is hope and that God will always be by your side no matter what because in the end he will become your best friend and in my case my savior. I pray that you will allow yourself to grow a relationship with the lord for he is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me.

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