I grew up in a somewhat “dysfunctional” home spiritually — my Mom raised my sisters and I Catholic, and my Dad was mostly uninvolved — Mom took us to Mass on Sundays and we attended the Parish grade school. I remember about 2nd grade, believing that my Dad was going to Hell… I also had a neighborhood buddy who did NOT go to school with us, and thinking — is he doomed as well? This confusion led me to question all of it – all “religion” seemed to make no sense. About the 7th Grade, my buddies and I pretty much had dismissed the whole “religion” thing.
So, I went about my young life, fairly rebellious. All through my 20’s, the focus was “me”. It was all about me. I certainly didn’t want to live by a strict set of “rules”… Even after I met my future wife, Ruth, (she was far less “rebellious”) and got married, I stuck with my agnostic/atheist worldview.
At about age 30, things began to change. My first son was born. I had a coworker, Mark; he had something about him… I wasn’t sure what it was…. A peace, a joy… It seemed was never stressed out. I wanted what he had. I knew he was a Christian, because he was open about it, but he wasn’t obnoxious about it like others I had met before. I also met other strong Christian people in the business world that seemed to possess what I wanted. They also had a big influence on me.
Through all of this, I began to ask the hard questions I had buried so deeply earlier: “What was the purpose of my life? Why were we here?” “What’s the meaning of it all?” There was not a singular moment where I was changed; It took several years and multiple people in my life that prompted my desire to know God and ask these questions. For the first time in my life, I began to honestly seek answers!
Eventually, Ruth and I found a good local church and started attending, and my journey of discovering the answers to these questions began. It continues to this day — and as I grow older, God continues to provide answers to life’s deepest questions.